What I thought I was going to say to Felicia Day

Note:  I started this after C2E2 in June of 2013 and finally a couple months later “finished” it.  I think it’s things like this where you realize, there truly sometimes are no words….

Talking SIP with Terry Moore in 2010

I am worthless sometimes when it comes to meeting people I admire.  My first comic book convention I nervously walked up to David Mack and sputtered something out as he signed my Kabuki comic.  But in my defense, I had admired him so long as an artist, I didn’t know the man was gorgeous to boot, which made my nerves skyrocket! 

In awe over Andy Kubert at C2E2 2010


But there are other times when I’m eloquent such as talking to Terry Moore about Strangers in Paradise and how we both missed Katchoo and Francine.  Or my personal favorite moment was thanking Andy Kubert for doing what he does because I became an artist because of him as I loved his style and copied it into my sketchbooks from X-Men comics.  This seemed to stun him for a second as he was signing my books and really, genuinely appreciated it.  And the guy seemed a bit dick-ish to everyone else, but I went into the conversation and put it all out on the table anyways.  

Then there are times that you meet people you not only admire, but you feel that in another life, you would probably be best friends.  Felicia Day has been that for me over the past few years.  I was first introduced to her in Buffy as Vi when that was ending.  While I was hating on the rest of the series (I thought the whole last season was dumb) I liked this seemingly quiet, shy girl who joined the cast for a bit.  

I was there before 11am cash in hand!


Later on, in 2008 while the writer’s strike was happening, one of my younger self’s crush, Neil Patrick Harris, was in a web series.  And who are these other two seemingly hilarious people that Joss Whedon has found?  Of course, *now* everyone knows who Nathan Fillion is because of Castle.  But at the time, IMDB had to come to my rescue and I learned that both him and Felicia were in the end season of Buffy.  Interesting!  In any case, I latched onto anything Felicia did while The Guild was in its second season I believe.  I loved the fact that a woman was an obsessed gamer!  Finally!  The gaming (and nerding) world in general wasn’t just about the men!  And of course, being a musical lover, the songs they did for The Guild I immediately added to my iPod!  Songs like “Do You Wanna Date My Avatar” and “I’m the One That’s Cool” were like they were talking about me!  Especially the last one.  More on that later.


In any case, when I went to C2E2, Felicia was my #1 draw and reason I pressed “buy”.  The entire convention was of course amazing.  But my interaction with Felicia was the highlight.  And for one simple reason.  She truly WAS as kind and sweet as I always thought and imagined she would be in person.

But here’s where I went off the track and said NOTHING I wanted to tell her. 

Felicia with UP house cosplayer

I was two people behind the lovely cosplayer who was amazingly dressed as the house from “Up”.  I was with my wife, still debating on what item I wanted signed and trying to calm my nerves.  She kept trying to talk to me, but I couldn’t speak.  I almost was ready for it to be “over with”.  I watched her with the people before me and thought “she doesn’t want to be doing this for 10 hours – she’s not going to appreciate anything I say”.  I have seen and heard my fair share of meeting heroes and then they don’t meet your sometimes lofty expectations.  In any case finally my wife snapped a photo for the guy that was in front of us who didn’t have anyone with him and then BOOM she was right. freaking. there.  

And my mind went blank.  

Achievement Unlocked. Now BREATHE.

She loved my Geek & Sundry stein – which I had her sign.  She gave my wife the biggest smile.  She actually put her arm around me instead of just leaning in as she did with other fans.  We talked about G&S a bit, I thanked her profusely for nothing in particular, and then just lots of smiles and thank yous.  

I didn’t say ONE thing I meant to.  


So here it is.  

THANK YOU Felicia Day for giving girls and women the strength to embrace their nerdiness.  I had comic book characters in the 90’s to latch onto because there was no one IRL.  No one ever understood my fascination with things like Final Fantasy VIII or Myst.  Or how I still loved playing Zork with just text to guide me.  I dressed all in black with odd jewelry that I most likely made myself.  No boys wanted to date me – which I was kinda okay with (considering I accepted later in life, I was actually gay, so that would be why!) though I yearned for the unattainable romance I read about.  I lost myself in books, comics, and the lives of video game characters.  I had thick glasses, developed too quickly (which I would discover later in life I wouldn’t mind later!), and tried to fit in desperately in an attempt to avoid teasing.  This included doing the popular kids papers and homework for them.  They knew I would read the books assigned to us (if I hadn’t already) and made it sound like I would get to go to their birthday parties if I did it.  I guess my invites all got lost in the mail, so you’re welcome for helping you pass AP English and History.  Jerks.  

People can still be mean.  I’ve felt this at work over the past few years as well as some acquaintances that have come into my life.  I’m in my thirties and bullying still exists??  Unbelievable.  So more than anything when the whole “fake geek girl” crap started arising and people were down on Felicia on YouTube to the point that she posted how it upset her, I wanted more than anything to run to wherever she was at the time and give her a hug.  How could anyone upset a person who’s kind and doing good for a small part of the population of the world?  People are dicks.  And people listen to Wil Wheaton and don’t be a dick.  Don’t hide behind your keyboard to do it either.  No you’re a dick and a coward.  

Me SUPER nervous and not talking to Val

In any case, I guess even in typing this I realize that I can’t even convey what I really wanted to say to her on a blog post either.  So perhaps that for the best – if anything I won’t come off creepy.  I think in the end there are not enough “thank yous” in the universe to tell her.  And to be clear there are many others like her that I admire and appreciate too – but she was the first beacon of hope for me that I wish was around when I was younger.  So if anything, the kids today have it good to have people like her to have as a role model.  Also, apparently it’s “cool” to be nerdy now?  Which is kinda annoying – but I guess not getting made fun of and instead being one of the “cool” kids for wearing a Marvel t-shirt is better!  

So truly 6th grade girl that kicked my ass frequently – I’m the better person.  And I strive everyday to try and find some way to encourage women and girls to be themselves.  I was, and still am.  I am now happy and living in a huge city with so many things to offer.  I would never go back and wish I wasn’t teased or bullied in school – it made me stronger in the end.  Also, “coming out” as a nerd is amazing – especially at work!  Incredible how many like you there really are!

So Felicia, thank you for being a role model even to this 32 year old in Chicago who is still a huge nerd.  you’ve talked directly to me through the Vaginal Fantasy group, I met you and the thought still brings a smile to my face about how gracious you were, and all-in-all you are successful and I can only hope that someone is as proud of me as I am of you and what you’ve accomplished.  I can’t wait to see what you do next! 

Also, I hope if I get the opportunity to meet you again, I do it with slightly more eloquent words.  Or we could just geek out over lord knows what game just came out!  

Hugs and thanks for being you!

It’s always amazing to meet the people that inspire you!

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C2E2 2013

C2E2 Showroom Floor



Besides musicals  plays and the usual shows you see on blogs such as this, this couple has a wide variety of “shows” they enjoy!  For instance, concerts.  And this summer is going to be full of them it seems judging by the ever growing tickets on our refrigerator door.  Shows can be any variety of thing in my opinion….let’s say museum exhibits?  A movie at the theater?  Or even….comic book conventions?  YES!  




That, and it’s my blog and I’ll do what I like.  So there.  
Loki says “sit the fuck down!”

In any case, probably never mentioned on here before is my love for comic books.  It started around 7th grade while the 90s X-Men the Animated series was on.  I fell in love with the character Rogue, followed by her on again/off again beau Gambit.  This was followed by finding a comic book store and discovering that my favorite characters were in book form?!  Amazing.  So began my comic book collecting – though ill-timed as the X-Men books at that period were going through the Age of Apocalypse arch – and for someone that just knew the animated series, I almost dropped the books altogether due to sheer confusion!


Insert “bigger on the inside joke” here.
Which brings us to today.  I still have the want for collecting as I did, but city living spaces and lack of expendable income at times has caused it to go to the wayside.  Not to mention, just the slim pickings there is in quality of books.  So currently my purchases are The Walking Dead and Saga monthly.  Others just get thrown in so I don’t have to put only $4 on my debit card!  
The Chicago Comic and Entertainment Expo is Chicago’s answer for not having to go to the suburbs for a comic book convention.  We used to only have Wizard World in Rosemont, and that train ride is hell to say the least.  C2E2 has grown significantly in the past four years and resides in the city of Chicago, not 15 miles away in a ‘burb!  I hadn’t been since the first year it opened and have been dying to see what it’s turned into.  That and it was announced that one of my all time favorite people, Felicia Day, was going to be in attendance!  Sold!  

Mama Wonder Woman and wee Huntress
I could go on and on about all the things I saw, the people I talked to, and the creativity that was witnessed over those Friday and Saturday afternoons.  It would be hard to choose.  Instead I will say, that as a nerd/geek/outcast/whatever, a comic book convention is more than about comic books.  If you like TV and movies, there’s stuff for you.  Anime?  That too!  My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic?  All over the fucking place!!  There is an abundance of genres to choose from. 

My wife and I spent a lot of our time shopping for art for our new place in the Artists Alley.  We purchase two pieces, two I can’t recall who they’re done by but will post when they’re framed and put up in the condo, and one by Karen Hallion, whom I’ve been desperately attempting to not buy everything she makes.  But seriously, when you combine Disney with Doctor Who, it’s hard. We ended up going with this piece because I’ve always identified with Belle.  It’s going to go in our bathroom with a couple of other classy, yet nerdy Doctor Who pieces (well that’s the plan anyways – we still have to get in there and see how it all lays out!).

Cast of Firefly cosplay
Wil Wheaton wrote this great blog post about how comforting it is to be at a convention.  And it is so true.  It’s a rare opportunity for everyone to be who they are (or in some cases who they wish they were!).  No one judges.  Seriously.  There are women who are wearing not much more than a leotard and tights, who would get the shit kicked out of them in school or on the street because they might be overweight, etc.  Instead, they get asked left and right for their picture to be taken!  And every convention I go to I’m amazed at the sheer amount of people in wheelchairs, or families with autistic children, and so on.  Basically, *everyone* is there to be themselves and not feel like the world is staring them down.  

TARDIS and Dalek cosplay
Several times throughout the weekend I choked up when I gazed around the floor at my fellow nerds.  They are all so talented, so imaginative, and most importantly so, SO loving.  It amazing and I would encourage anyone who’s never been to a show such as this to try it – you might discover a movie you’ve never heard of, an author who’s name you’ve heard of but never tried, or an artist as you’re walking by their table and have the “I *have* to have that print!” thought.  That art may not stay with us forever (though I hope it does!) but the memories will.  And I already cannot wait until next year! 

C2E2 2013